Stephen Howards Life

A blog about stuff that happens to me.

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How social media killed real human interaction

why-facebook-sucksIsn’t it funny when you think about your younger years (assuming you’re in your 20’s or 30’s +), how we even lived without social media or being in constant contact with all our friends?

When we weren’t constantly bombarded with information from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snaphchat and YouTube?

When we actually had to bike down to our friends houses to see what they were doing or to hang out? Hah! Yeah, I was just thinking about how much time we literally waste peeping into our friends lives… sometimes when we’re bored or when we want to know if that pretty girl is single or maybe just see what an old friend has been up to.

It’s really a whole new era of – one that I refer to as “personal branding”. If you’re on social media, then chances are you’ve had friends, family, coworkers, your boss, your enemies and more peering into who you are and what you’ve been doing. And even some creeps if you happen to be an attractive girl.

In my opinion, it just creates a whole new set of problems that we have to deal with. As if life isn’t stressful enough, here are just some observations I’ve made. It’s from myself, friends with similar thoughts as myself, and other people who have opinion blogs on the internet.

  • Facebook makes you unhappy because you’re only seeing people trying to appear better or more popular than they really are. This makes you unsatisfied with your own life. You might think you lack friends, money, looks, skills or whatever people show off on the internet. The point is, you never really know what a person is going through unless you’re very close personal friends in real life. I have a close friend who’s dealing with money problems, girl problems, job problems, but somehow still seems to be “Facebook famous” which accounts for absolutely NOTHING.
  • Facebook causes relationships to break down. Now, if you’re a normal guy, I totally understand this one. The previous generation didn’t have to deal with a bunch of random guys or girls constantly trying to hit up our partners. I realize this is an insecurity on my part, but can you really blame guys and girls for being protective when you’re going to worry if someone better looking, richer, or more “facebook famous” wants to talk to your significant other? That gives your partner the illusion that there are better options out there when things don’t go their way or there are disagreements in a relationship. In fact, I personally believed this was the cause of my recent break up that I discussed earlier.

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My girlfriend broke up with me, here’s what I did to get her back

how I got my ex girlfriend back If you’ve ever been through a painful break up, you know the feeling. You know the iffiness, the feeling something is not right, that something is bugging your girlfriend but you don’t know what. Then the news hits you — she wants to break up.

As guys, we try to hide our hurt feelings. Sometimes we get angry, upset, annoyed, jealous, and just straight up heartbroken over it. We might beg for our girlfriends back and end up pushing them further away than if we were just guys who could “sack up” and move on.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably done some research on how to get your girlfriend back…

You visit websites, forums, blogs, buy products all promising you’ll get her back if you buy their course. If you’ve ever ended up on a PUA (pick up artist) forum, they’ll tell you to just go get with 10 other women (like it’s just that easy). Most of the advice tells guys to do several things which may or may not help get your girlfriend back:

  • The “no contact rule”
  • Being “friends” in order to try and get her back
  • Acting all happy and pretending the break up doesn’t bother you
  • Working on yourself
  • Making her jealous by dating hotter women
  • posting facebook statuses exaggerating your new found freedom and happiness (when you’re really not)

… while I considered many of these options, I wasn’t even really sure if I wanted my girlfriend back. If I did, I would end up doing the breaking up next time. I did some introspection, and realized I was expecting the break up, and acted in ways that caused it. It was my fault after all.

As I mentioned above – I took all the advice that was given to me by my online friends and just tried to move on rather than fix things.

But NOT before I made mistake after mistake of trying to get her back. I tried begging, making her feel guilty, being angry at her, telling her to pay me back for gifts I bought, accusing her of cheating on me, and possibly having a rebound relationship since the break up…

All the things you’re absolutely NOT supposed to do!

Well according to the advice I read on the internet anyway. I decided to go into full “no contact” mode, and proceed to ignore any contact with her for the next 2 months. But I didn’t sit around moping and hoping she would call or text – nope. I decided now was the perfect time to use my emotions to:

  • get in shape
  • smell better
  • work on my confidence
  • take boxing and develop a skill
  • dress better
  • make more money somehow
  • get a new car
  • get a better place to live
  • get some new hobbies and passions
  • take much better care of my health, eating habits, and overall quality of life

Now that I had so much time for myself, in the end, if she wasn’t going to come back I would atleast be able to attract other women.

So I got to work… and I even got to a much happier place in my own head! It took some weeks of just hammering myself with self improvement activities and keeping myself busy. But slowly, I felt free, happy, confident, and I had other women slowly seeing me in a new light. I got asked out, got attention at bars and nightclubs, and in general, I was finally out of that crappy post break up break down!

I learned that I deserve much better.

Well almost 2 months was up and I felt better than ever. It’s really strange how you can lose so much of yourself to someone… especially in a long term, committed relationship. It’s just unreal how much time actually gets wasted when you could be bettering yourself.

Anyway, the next part of the story is what really got her thinking about me in a new light.

So like magic, she ended up calling to see how things are with me and probably to try and act all happy and try to see if I still care. Well I admit that I still felt a little hurt, but it was nothing compared to my “new” self image. She wanted to meet up in a few weeks time, and I agreed just so she would feel a twinge of jealousy when she sees the new women in my life.

I once again started reading up on the internet – to see if there were any specific ways to deal with keeping your cool when you meet up with your ex girlfriend after a period of time.

I actually found a really interesting article about a guy who used “pheromones” to see if pheromone colognes help get his ex girlfriend back.

It was very very similar to my own story, and I did many of the things he recommends doing anyway. So I had nothing to lose – and I gave them a shot (in particular, he reommends a product called “XiSt” by pheromoneXS to help restore relationships, as well as a few others like Aqua Vitae, Nude Alpha and Alfa Maschio).

I didn’t really think they were going to work. But I read up on some of the articles and thought they could be effective because the science is sound. Once they arrived I was pretty excited to try them out, despite my scepticism. To my surprise, I actually noticed an immediate effect on some of my female friends who seemed to be staring much more than usual. We also happened to have much “deeper” conversations about personal things.

I also got asked if I had a girlfriend the week several times when I was playing around with pheromones. Indicators of interest? Anyway, I gave “Phertest” from PheromonePro an email and he replied with a recommendation for combo when I see my ex girlfriend.

Fast forward to meeting day.

I walk into the cafe and immediately, all eyes are on me. My ex-girlfriend is sitting there somewhat stunned at my new appearance and trying to keep HER cool around ME! I have to admit, I was still infuriated that she hadn’t contacted me for so long and just expected things to be automatically okay right off the bat. But luckily, I had this stunning latin woman texting me at the time and it gave me that boost of confidence I needed to handle it correctly. I had more game, better looks, smelled better, and just radiated a new passion for life which I had forgotten in my 1.5 year long relationship.

We talked for about 30 minutes, just about work, I laid out some jokes, and lightly hinted that I was seeing someone else. I also set a background on my phone that was with me and the very attractive latin woman I mentioned before. I made sure she noticed it by pushing the button, and also the text message preview that shows up when I get a message. This seemed to piss her off somewhat (which I was very, very pleased about to be honest).

Soon after leaving her with a brand new impression of me, she ended up calling me later that night saying she had made a huge mistake and regretted her decision.

I was overjoyed… not because I had the option of having her back or moving on… but because I honestly, at that point, didn’t want to anymore.

There was no way I was going back to a relationship with a woman who couldn’t stay committed. I admitted I made some mistakes and got a bit lazy, but now I know to never let that happen again. That is one of the proudest moments in my life.

And if you’re going through a break up right now, I urge you to not give up hope.

Even if you DO want to fix things, just know you can get better, hotter women even if she doesn’t want you back. Yeah, I know you think she’s “the one” but if she was, you wouldn’t be researching how to get your ex girlfriend back right? Anyway, I hope someone out there reads this and gets something out of it!

Please check out the website I recommend above too (PheromonePro.com) as it goes into a bit more detail about what you can do to get your ex girlfriend back.

Thank you for reading.
Stephen Howard